Coregulation- how we can use our breath for healing.

Have you ever experienced the stress of life reaching a threshold where you felt like you just needed something, but tea or medication wasn’t it?   I had an experience a few months ago that set me on the path of deep learning. It was a simple gesture, yet it has had profound ripples throughout my life. 

My young son woke up hungry one morning. It’s a sensation that at 8am he still had not registered as hunger. As his father encouraged him to eat, my son got more frustrated. His voice got louder, his demands got more unreasonable. I could hear him as I came down the stairs to get my coffee. I saw my son spiraling into a confused frustrated whirlwind of emotion. I walked over and placed a bowl, a jar of granola and some milk in front of him. I then placed my hands on his shoulder, whispered “Good Morning!” and stood there to focus on some long drawn out quiet exhales. I did not say anything else. I felt the warmth of my son's shoulder, I felt the beating of his heart and I waited. In a few minutes he went from yelling out frustrations to discussing the pros and cons of his school playground with his sister. A moment went by and he said, “I’m hungry. Can you make me 3 eggs….please?”

Coregulation

We are lucky if we have someone in our life to help us calm down. The simple act of being calm and quiet around someone to help them when they do not have the skills or the emotional capacity to do it themselves is an act of coregulation. It’s a skill that is easy to learn but not as commonly discussed. Coregulation is an interactive process by which we can help regulate each other's emotional and physiological states. We can contribute to each other's and our own homeostasis and resilience. During stressful times of our lives, we can give ourselves the care of receiving assistance in letting go, releasing the tone in our muscles and the resilience of our bones. Sometimes we need an invitation to surrender to what is. Massage is a great environment where one can set an intention and focus with a healthcare professional, or let go of ones thoughts and drift through the gates of healing. 

Homeostasis is the calm state of physiological balance. It’s when we can inhale for the same amount of time as we exhale. This does not need to be achieved at every moment, but the ability to be able to breathe in and out harmoniously is ideal for our health and wellness. We take longer inhales when we are excited because our sympathetic nervous system activates our lungs to take in more oxgen. That’s the part of our nervous system that triggers the flight or fight reflexes, sending blood and oxygen to our muscles and makes our eyes dialate. We take longer exhales when we are calm and it triggers our parasympathetic nervous system to further calm us down. That’s the rest and digest aspect of our nervous system that brings blood and oxygen to our stomachs and brain and helps us relax. 

We Can Control Our Breath

The stress of the world we live in has had a profound effect on society and our general breathing patterns. Many experts believe that most people inhale too much, and breath too fast. For years, my own breath was not a concern. I could run and dance and massage and I did not connect my stress responses to my breath. It was only once I had a family and could see my stress response patterns reflected in them that I realized I needed to take control of my breath to help manage theirs when needed. Our breathing patterns were focused on the inhale, and faster than what would be considered homeostasis throughout most of the day. The idea of being able to consciously slow down our breath and calm down was almost too hard. When I was regularly on the tipping point of losing control of a situation, I could barely imagine staying consistently calm. I think it’s common that how to regulate our breathing is not a normal lesson until someone seeks it out of desperation. 

Breathing is one of the few functions in our body that is both autonomic and voluntary. Voluntary breathing practices have a rapid, widespread effect on our stress response and innate healing processes. Evidence suggests that a breathing practice can reduce the effects of stress, free radical damage and inflammation. It can also enhance our capacity for connection, self-regulation, compassion and healing. It only takes one person in a group to pass on the positive effects of regulated breathing. 

Massage

In a therapeutic environment, when the therapist is in a calm state and their breathing patterns are regulated, positive changes in the patient are multi-faceted. According to the Polyvagal theory, a therapist can use their breath and calm voice to simulate the sound of a loving mother talking gently to their child. Their actions can stimulate the parts of the brain that control our muscles and our emotions. The therapist can hold their neck, face and throat with decreased tone and this also positively affects a patient's nervous system towards relaxation. More intention is given to the exhale and it is made longer than the inhale. When physiological changes within the therapist resonate with the patient, conditions favour coregulation towards calming and relaxing the patient as well as up regulating the patient's own healing capacity. 

It is so simple. Exhale, slow down. You got this. Even if it feels hard. You can do hard things. Therapeutic touch can help.

References:

Fraser, Alison. Touch After Trauma. A Practical Guide for Manual Therapists. Friesen Press, 2023, Manitoba, p.116.

Patricia L. Gerbarg, Richard P. Brown, Chris C. Streeter, Martin Katzman, Monica Vermani, Breath Practices for Survivor and Caregiver Stress, Depression, and Posttraumatic Stress Disorder: Connection, Co-regulation, Compassion.https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK7250/#A40051

https://www.othership.us/resources/hrv-breathing